My delusional self often overestimates herself. This is how I find myself in a modern co-working space with my coffee for a client meeting at 7:30 pm on a Friday after work. Hustle was the new trend and handling a second job would give me a space to explore my creativity for the mere price of burnout, stress and lack of social life.
The client I am meeting today is a man in his forties. His crisp attire with the embellishments of high-end brands on every accessory confirms my theory that he does not have the luxury of navigating a life with constant financial stress. He seems eager to get started.
“I have an unusual project to offer to you. I hope it does not come as much of a surprise to you.”
This makes my exhaustion take a back seat, I am curious to find what opportunity awaits me here.
“I am all ears. I have been excited to meet you since your call.” I say.
“I want you to help me build a gift for my wife.”
This man wants me to build another Taj Mahal? I couldn’t be that lucky to land such a project. Would he insist on chopping off my arms after work?
“We are renovating our kitchen.” he declares.
Right. When will my 29-year-old self stop making teenage-style fantasies about my life?
(Note to self: Always ask the client if they are looking for an interior designer and found a desperate architect instead before you plan meetings with them.)
Hoping that my concealer managed to cover my disappointment, I kept up the conversation. He goes on to say how the house was designed by one of the leading design studios and completed seven years ago. He explains how his choice of incorporating hardwood finishes into the house’s interiors has got him too many compliments through the years. Through these stories, I see a man who is particular about how he wants to showcase his wealth. Nothing fancy, just another regular rich guy who scooped up prosperities that he didn’t have to work for. Stereotypes would shy away if I used this man as an example of a stereotype.
He says, “Now that I want to make some minor changes in the house; I thought it would be the right time to give young women like you an opportunity to shine.”
I did take a second to contemplate this. Should I tell him that if it is an opportunity to shine that he is providing here; there are countless young girls in the rural ends of this country waiting for a hand of help? Probably not; if keeping this gig is something I hope for. But that doesn’t dismiss my doubts about whether he was looking for a female architect or if he found an architect who happened to be female.
He gives me the basic brief of what he envisions for his dream kitchen. He gives details of how an open kitchen would make it more enjoyable for his wife while she works there. All through this conversation, the feminist in me is bursting with the temptation to ask him why his wife is not part of this conversation if the kitchen happens to be her domain. But like most of my thoughts, I quiet it down.
(Note to self: Most radical thoughts are only meant for the quirky Twitter post; our humanitarian evolution has not caught up with incorporating them in our workspace yet.)
After we bid each other with sugar-coated goodbyes, I leave for home. My drive back is not struck by my usual existential crisis but rather by the state of many women like me in this field of work. Why does my struggle seem more unworthy than all the other young designers struggling to make it? What influence does my gender bring to the design at hand? What have women in design accomplished other than a few merit list survivors like Zaha Hadid and Neri Oxman?
I reach home with a rather heavy emotional baggage to support my exhaustion. Opening the doors to my unkempt house with piling laundry still waiting for my attention; I am suddenly brought back to reality. All that feminist revolution I plotted has now taken a back seat. Maybe today is not the day. I think a clean house would be more appreciated than a thought-provoking rally; so I get to my usual routine work.
After the chores are sorted, I head to my desk with heavy reasons to procrastinate working anymore. With no luck searching for motivation, I understand that even that is a luxury saved for people with time and stability. So I jump right into it instead.
“Hey A.I., give me options for a modern kitchen layout.”
“Sure, would you like the design to be in neoclassical or anime aesthetic?”
“Never mind, I will just do it myself.”